i was inspired to write this blog when i heard this song.......
GOD ONLY KNOWS
I feel so alone, Cant seem to find my out of this lone?
No, it dont seem right
I didnt have a chance to say goodbye.
In this this silent space, I close my eyes i can hear you say
That it's alright, but my world's such an empty place tonight.
Cause i know that, its all part of life.
[Chorus]
I wish i had the chance to say goodbye, yeah i still miss you.
so hard to see through the tears i've cried.
Yeah, i still need you.
Cause i dont want to, if i dont have to ever let you go.
The longest i'll hold on.. God only knows.
As the time goes by, it gets a little easier to smile.
I know i'll never forget everything that you said.
You said its alright, it's all part of life.
[Chorus]
I wish i had the chance to say goodbye, yeah i still miss you.
so hard to see through the tears i've cried.
Yeah, I still need you.
Cause i don't want to, if i don't have to ever let you go.
The longest i'll hold on.. God only knows.
{ The hard times} will never fade if you keep looking up
Right around there is a better place if you believe in love.
Cause i know that, its all part of life.
[Chorus]
I wish i had the chance to say goodbye, yeah i still miss you.
so hard to see through the tears i've cried.
Yeah, I still need you.
Cause i don't want to, if i don't have to ever let you go.
The longest i'll hold on, the longest i'll hold on.
The longest i'll hold on.. God only knows.
God only knows.
Ya, God only knows.
God only knows.
I got to thinking after listening to this song how i have been to way too many funerals lately. 7 so far and one on the way in a year and a half. that is 8 too many. two of them were not needed. they were suicides. i feel for everyone that has lost someone this way. it is an indescribable pain for the people left behind. we cant imagine how much pain that the person was in emotionally or physically. obviously they felt they couldnt get through whatever it was.
with this said this is especially hard because u have no warning therefor no goodbye.
it really sucks when u cant say goodbye to someone u cared about before they have passed away. no matter how they died when u cant say goodbye it is much harder to get past the greif.
this song touched me in so many ways. its lyrics say so much that so many people feel and cant put into words. listening to this song i feel can be theraputic to someone who has lost someone.
i hope this song touches many people the way it has touched me. thanks to lucks for sending me that song. i think its becoming one of my favorites at this time.
<3 kaylee
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
ugh need to clear my head
i have decided my head is going to explode this week. i have alot on my mind and im starting to stress out way too much over what some people may think are stupid things. maybe im just sensitive or something idk. but im getting upset over the littlest things lately. things that never used to bother me are things that now put me in tears. wtf?
today was no different. i talked to a few friends about what was going on and they were there for me but still i feel hurt. i honestly dont feel the person who hurt me did it intentionally or eveen knew he/ she did it. it just sucked. im not going to name names or put blame on anyone. im just writing this to get it out of my mind and felt this what the only way to do it. im just not having a very good day is all. well thats about it. ttyl
<3 kaylee
today was no different. i talked to a few friends about what was going on and they were there for me but still i feel hurt. i honestly dont feel the person who hurt me did it intentionally or eveen knew he/ she did it. it just sucked. im not going to name names or put blame on anyone. im just writing this to get it out of my mind and felt this what the only way to do it. im just not having a very good day is all. well thats about it. ttyl
<3 kaylee
Monday, September 7, 2009
update cuz its been awhile
ok so to update all u guys on what ive been up to lately cuz i havent posted anything in a super long time.
-im back in college
-im going to be learning how to drive my van i hope soon
-im still living at home for the time being although i want that to change
-i cant seem to get a certain someone out of my mind no matter what i do
-im apparently good at putting holes in walls and running into things
-still good at falling out of my chair
-my chair needs fixing
-my computer is a piece of crap
-long weekends are boring still even when i have things to do cuz its a holiday weekend and dont want to do anything
-i still want red highlights and still considering getting a tattoo- dont know when thats gonna actually happen though- probly after i move out
-my pastors wife finally had her baby
-my sister doesnt live at home anymore
-i should really post more blogs than i do
............................... thats about it so incase u missed what ive been up to here ya go!
<3 kaylee
THEN- BRAD PAISLEY
I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you. You had me mesmerized.
And three weeks later in the front porch light, taking forty five minutes to kiss goodnight.
I hadn't told you yet, but I thought I loved you then.
Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe, the way I feel about you girl.
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day.
And I thought I loved you then.
I remember, taking you back to right where I first met you. You were so surprised.
There people around but I didn't care. I got down on one knee right there.
And once again, I thought I loved you then.
Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe, the way I feel about you girl.
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day.
And I thought I loved you then.
I can just see you, with a baby on the way. I can just see you, when your hair is turning grey.
What I can't see is how I'm ever going to love you more. But I've said that before.
Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe the way I feel about you girl.
We'll look back someday, at this moment that we're in and I'll look at you and say, "And I thought I loved you then."
And I thought I loved you then.
-im back in college
-im going to be learning how to drive my van i hope soon
-im still living at home for the time being although i want that to change
-i cant seem to get a certain someone out of my mind no matter what i do
-im apparently good at putting holes in walls and running into things
-still good at falling out of my chair
-my chair needs fixing
-my computer is a piece of crap
-long weekends are boring still even when i have things to do cuz its a holiday weekend and dont want to do anything
-i still want red highlights and still considering getting a tattoo- dont know when thats gonna actually happen though- probly after i move out
-my pastors wife finally had her baby
-my sister doesnt live at home anymore
-i should really post more blogs than i do
............................... thats about it so incase u missed what ive been up to here ya go!
<3 kaylee
THEN- BRAD PAISLEY
I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you. You had me mesmerized.
And three weeks later in the front porch light, taking forty five minutes to kiss goodnight.
I hadn't told you yet, but I thought I loved you then.
Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe, the way I feel about you girl.
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day.
And I thought I loved you then.
I remember, taking you back to right where I first met you. You were so surprised.
There people around but I didn't care. I got down on one knee right there.
And once again, I thought I loved you then.
Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe, the way I feel about you girl.
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day.
And I thought I loved you then.
I can just see you, with a baby on the way. I can just see you, when your hair is turning grey.
What I can't see is how I'm ever going to love you more. But I've said that before.
Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe the way I feel about you girl.
We'll look back someday, at this moment that we're in and I'll look at you and say, "And I thought I loved you then."
And I thought I loved you then.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
another random quote blog post
another random quote blog cuz im bored and felt like blogging again lol
1.Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
Jonathan Winters
2.Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Annonymous
3.I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
1.Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
Jonathan Winters
2.Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Annonymous
3.I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
Sunday, June 28, 2009
RIP Kelly
tonight has been a really rough night. i was washing dishes and my dad calls everyone to the living room. already i knew this was not going to be a good thing or any fun. my dog has been really sick lately and she isnt going to get any better and shes real old and has huge tumor. so friday morning my dad is going to the vets and we have to put her down. this is especially sad because we have grown very attached to this dog. we have had her for 10 years now. she is twelve yrs old and its just her time. i will not be going because when we had our first dog put down it was hard for me to be in the room and this dog is much harder to watch in pain. so this time i am sitting it out. i want to not have that as my last image of her. i thinks thats about all im gonna write tonight.
<3 kaylee
sissy's song- alan jackson
Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me
<3 kaylee
sissy's song- alan jackson
Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me
Friday, June 26, 2009
new possibilities
so yesterday i was talking to an old friend about old times and the fact of me likeing him came up. he asked me if i still liked him and i asked him y. he said because i just might like u too a lil. im like well in that case yes i do and then he said that we should hang out soon cuz he wanted to see me. so im excited about this. i hope we work out cuz hes an amazing person. and i can actuall see him cuz he only lives about 15-20 mins from me.
LUCKY- JASON MRAZ AND COLBIE CAILLAT
Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
LUCKY- JASON MRAZ AND COLBIE CAILLAT
Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Monday, June 8, 2009
single again
ok so to make a long story short me and josh broke up. he wats to bewith someone else so i ended it. we are still friends.it will take some time to get over him but i will be ok.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
things on my mind
so josh and i got yo married yesterday and it was also his 19th birthday. i really do think im falling in love with him if only we could meet. too bad he lives so far away. we share a yo house and hes amazing. idk what else to say so heres the shortest blog ive ever written. lol
hope ya like it!
<3
hope ya like it!
<3
Do you hear me,I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby
I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you,
I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Saturday, May 16, 2009
new love
so yeah there is a new guy in the picture. his name is josh and he is amazing.
we have been having this online /phone dating kind of thing. he lives in kentucky
so chnaces of us meeting r slim to none. im glad i met him because he doesnt
judge me like other people tend to. he knows my fault and hey doesnt dwell on
them. he loves me just the way i am. i love to hear his voice and the way he
talks to me. he also lays guitar and is working on a song that is writing for me.
ive never had a guy treat me as well as he does. i can honestly say i love him. i
cant wait to see what the future might bring us.
<3
Don't need no copy of vogue magazine
Don't need to dress like no Beauty Queen
high heels or sneakers he dont give a damn
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He never tells me I'm not good enough
Just give me unconditional love
He loves me tender and he loves me mad
He loves me silly and he loves me sad
Chorus:
He thinks I'm pretty,
he thinks I'm smart
he likes my nerve but he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
When there's dark clouds in my eyes
He just sits back and lets 'em roll on by
Come in like a lion go out like a lamb
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
Repeat Chorus:
He thinks I'm pretty,
he thinks I'm smart
he likes my nerve but he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He thinks I'm pretty,
he thinks I'm smart
he likes my nerve and he loves my heart
Don't see no reason to change my plan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
we have been having this online /phone dating kind of thing. he lives in kentucky
so chnaces of us meeting r slim to none. im glad i met him because he doesnt
judge me like other people tend to. he knows my fault and hey doesnt dwell on
them. he loves me just the way i am. i love to hear his voice and the way he
talks to me. he also lays guitar and is working on a song that is writing for me.
ive never had a guy treat me as well as he does. i can honestly say i love him. i
cant wait to see what the future might bring us.
<3
Don't need no copy of vogue magazine
Don't need to dress like no Beauty Queen
high heels or sneakers he dont give a damn
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He never tells me I'm not good enough
Just give me unconditional love
He loves me tender and he loves me mad
He loves me silly and he loves me sad
Chorus:
He thinks I'm pretty,
he thinks I'm smart
he likes my nerve but he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
When there's dark clouds in my eyes
He just sits back and lets 'em roll on by
Come in like a lion go out like a lamb
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
Repeat Chorus:
He thinks I'm pretty,
he thinks I'm smart
he likes my nerve but he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He thinks I'm pretty,
he thinks I'm smart
he likes my nerve and he loves my heart
Don't see no reason to change my plan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
Friday, April 10, 2009
Quotes cont.
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
"The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of."
"Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."
"When boredom strikes, greatness emerges."
"The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of."
"Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."
"When boredom strikes, greatness emerges."
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
quotes
ok so here are a bunch of quotes that i like and i hope you like them too:
1."Laughter is by definition healthy."
2."Defer not till tomorrow to be wise,tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise."
3."It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not."
4."I believe every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
5."Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."
6."One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love."
7."Never feel self- pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self."
8."Mistakes and dissappointment make the sweet things in life that much sweeter."
9."What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful."
10."life is too short, have fun."
1."Laughter is by definition healthy."
2."Defer not till tomorrow to be wise,tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise."
3."It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not."
4."I believe every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
5."Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."
6."One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love."
7."Never feel self- pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self."
8."Mistakes and dissappointment make the sweet things in life that much sweeter."
9."What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful."
10."life is too short, have fun."
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
ok today my post is about my driving today and easter comng up.
i drove for the first time today. it was hard because i had to use hand controls and they are very hard to learn. u have to be really coordinated.the man that was giving my evaluation was nice and he had to correct me on a bunch of things but e never yelled or gave up on me.
it was also fun and he said i had enough knowledge that i could start my driver training to get my license. it was scary at first when he took me out on the road after being in the parking lot but i got the hang of it and loosened up a bit and wasnt so nervous.
ok enough about me driving.
so the big day is coming up.EASTER.im so excited. i love easter. its my fave holiday. last year around easter wasnt very good because that was a week after my uncle had committed suicide. that was a horrible night.
the day startedout normal. everything was going good. then about 9 or 10 at night my mom got a call saying that my uncle had killed himself and she had to go down there. it didnt hit me right away it took a min before i processed what she had just said to me. then the tears started to flow.she wanted to stay with me but she had to go help my dad and rest of the family at myaunts house. i knew she couldnt stay and i wasnt mad i was just overwhelmed wth emotion at that point.then came the next day. i was told i didnt have to go to school but i had a test that i didnt want to miss and i wanted to try and make it through.
bad idea. the wole next day was kind of a blurr as far as what was taught in my classes all i can remember was the rumors that were flowing from the kids at school. tey had heard about it and started saying things that were completely not true an some of them were down right mean.
ik my true friends were going to be there for me and they woul stop any rumors they heard. like my friend steph and cassi. they knew what had happened and stopped anyone from saying anything bad about my family or what had happened.
ik some things about how and where he did what he did that im not going to share because i am not ready to put it down fo everyone to see but if u want to know just ask and i will probly tell u.
it is still hard around birthdays and holidays for our family. my cousins birthday was sunday and im sure it was heard to know his dad wasnt going to be there for his 16th bday.
sme good things we can focus on this yar is the family we have left and the memories we have of my uncle dean. he was fun man and usually quiet but always happy and loved his kids and family.
so this is why im dedicating this blog to him in his memory tonight.
<3 you uncle dean-dont lose any socks up there
R.I.P.
<3 kaylee
ARMS OF AN ANGEL-SARAH McLAUGHLIN
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel “not good enough��?
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of an Angel, far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
i drove for the first time today. it was hard because i had to use hand controls and they are very hard to learn. u have to be really coordinated.the man that was giving my evaluation was nice and he had to correct me on a bunch of things but e never yelled or gave up on me.
it was also fun and he said i had enough knowledge that i could start my driver training to get my license. it was scary at first when he took me out on the road after being in the parking lot but i got the hang of it and loosened up a bit and wasnt so nervous.
ok enough about me driving.
so the big day is coming up.EASTER.im so excited. i love easter. its my fave holiday. last year around easter wasnt very good because that was a week after my uncle had committed suicide. that was a horrible night.
the day startedout normal. everything was going good. then about 9 or 10 at night my mom got a call saying that my uncle had killed himself and she had to go down there. it didnt hit me right away it took a min before i processed what she had just said to me. then the tears started to flow.she wanted to stay with me but she had to go help my dad and rest of the family at myaunts house. i knew she couldnt stay and i wasnt mad i was just overwhelmed wth emotion at that point.then came the next day. i was told i didnt have to go to school but i had a test that i didnt want to miss and i wanted to try and make it through.
bad idea. the wole next day was kind of a blurr as far as what was taught in my classes all i can remember was the rumors that were flowing from the kids at school. tey had heard about it and started saying things that were completely not true an some of them were down right mean.
ik my true friends were going to be there for me and they woul stop any rumors they heard. like my friend steph and cassi. they knew what had happened and stopped anyone from saying anything bad about my family or what had happened.
ik some things about how and where he did what he did that im not going to share because i am not ready to put it down fo everyone to see but if u want to know just ask and i will probly tell u.
it is still hard around birthdays and holidays for our family. my cousins birthday was sunday and im sure it was heard to know his dad wasnt going to be there for his 16th bday.
sme good things we can focus on this yar is the family we have left and the memories we have of my uncle dean. he was fun man and usually quiet but always happy and loved his kids and family.
so this is why im dedicating this blog to him in his memory tonight.
<3 you uncle dean-dont lose any socks up there
R.I.P.
<3 kaylee
ARMS OF AN ANGEL-SARAH McLAUGHLIN
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel “not good enough��?
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of an Angel, far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
Saturday, April 4, 2009
untitled
so im sittng here in my room thinking im so bored wat should i do and i think to myself why not write a blog. so here i am. i dont really know what to talk about so im just gonna talk.
yesterday in my town was a horrific day. a guy went into a civic center and shot and killed 13 ppl before turning the gun on himself. i wish i could say this is the first time i have seen this happen but thats not the case.
about three years ago my friend was involved in a murder suicide. her boyfrienda nd her got into a heated argument about whether or not she was going to keep her unborn baby. she wanted to keep it and he didnt want her to. it got out of hand and he shot her an killed her. then a couple hours later he turnedthe gun on hiself. it took me a long time to get over the death of my friend. she was always such a happy person and to see her life be cut so short at the age of 18 was tragic.heck, to know that ive lived a longer life that she was allowed to is horrible. it took me a long tim to be able to forgive him for doing such a thing to such a wondeful person.
i did however forgive him because if i didnt forgive him it would eat me alive day by day and i wuldnt let him do that to me. i forgave him but i will never allow mysef to forget that day. at her funeral i saw the amount of people there and realized i was not the only one that knew how amazig she was.
well after her death her family started a scholarship fund in her honor and a foundation called ending teen violence. they had a benefit dinner about two weeks ago that i went to and saw how many young teens they helped. that was when i knew her deah wasnt in vain. this organization is raising awarness so another death like hers can be prevented because no one deserves to go through what she did.
WHERE IS THE LOVE- BLACK EYED PEAS
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above'
Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love,
the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above'
Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the loveI feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above'
Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
yesterday in my town was a horrific day. a guy went into a civic center and shot and killed 13 ppl before turning the gun on himself. i wish i could say this is the first time i have seen this happen but thats not the case.
about three years ago my friend was involved in a murder suicide. her boyfrienda nd her got into a heated argument about whether or not she was going to keep her unborn baby. she wanted to keep it and he didnt want her to. it got out of hand and he shot her an killed her. then a couple hours later he turnedthe gun on hiself. it took me a long time to get over the death of my friend. she was always such a happy person and to see her life be cut so short at the age of 18 was tragic.heck, to know that ive lived a longer life that she was allowed to is horrible. it took me a long tim to be able to forgive him for doing such a thing to such a wondeful person.
i did however forgive him because if i didnt forgive him it would eat me alive day by day and i wuldnt let him do that to me. i forgave him but i will never allow mysef to forget that day. at her funeral i saw the amount of people there and realized i was not the only one that knew how amazig she was.
well after her death her family started a scholarship fund in her honor and a foundation called ending teen violence. they had a benefit dinner about two weeks ago that i went to and saw how many young teens they helped. that was when i knew her deah wasnt in vain. this organization is raising awarness so another death like hers can be prevented because no one deserves to go through what she did.
WHERE IS THE LOVE- BLACK EYED PEAS
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above'
Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love,
the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above'
Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the loveI feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above'
Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Thursday, April 2, 2009
first blog post-friends and life
Ok here i sit in my dorm room thinking about what a friend has said to me in the last couple of days. he told me that i should post a blog and that it shouldcome fom the heart. i shouldnt care what other people have to say and just writeone. so here goes nothing.....
I have discovered that in my nineteen years of living that if you arent having fun that what is the point in living. this is why i try to have fun and laugh as much as possible. from this laughter has earned my a nick name.(gerbil) i like this nick name because it came from friends that i know arent doing it to be mean but are doing it out of love. although i havent met these people that have given me this nick name i still know that they aremy true friends.
Without friends in this life a person has nothing. ts is why i surround myself with good friends that love me through the good times and the bad. i like the feeling that i can be a total dork and they still will lovemeno matter what or if i need to vent to oneof them they will sit there and listen.
i recently decided to leave my current college and persue a different career path. i am planningon getting a job and working this summer and going to college again in the fall once i fgure out what i want to do with the rest of mylife. tthis has been a long hard decision but i believe its for the best. i think i rushed into college to fast before i was ready. now i haveto start allover and begin a new. i am moving home and going to live with my parents for awhile. as much as i like living on my own i still like to comehomeoncein awhile. this seems like the best choice at this time in mylife.
so yeah that wasmy first blog and i hope whoever reads this likes it cuz i put my heart and soul into it.
"TRUE FRIEND"
[VERSE 1]
We sign our cards and letters BFF
You've got a million ways to make me laugh
You're lookin' out for me; you've got my back
It's so good to have you around
You know the secrets I could never tell
And when I'm quiet you break through my shell
Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell
Cause you keep my feet on the ground
[CHORUS 1]
You're a true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me asideWhen something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night'
Til it's alright again
You're a true friend
[VERSE 2]
You don't get angry when I change the plans
Somehow you're never out of second chances
Won't say "I told you" when I'm wrong again
I'm so lucky that I've found
[CHORUS 2]
A true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me asideWhen something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
'Til it's alright again
[BRIDGE]
True friends will go to the ends of the earth
Till they find the thing you need
Friends hang on through the ups and the downs
Cause they've got someone to believe in
[CHORUS 3]
A true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me asideWhen something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
No need to pretend
You're a true friend
You're here till the end
Pull me asideWhen something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night'
Til it's alright again
You're a true friend [3x]
I have discovered that in my nineteen years of living that if you arent having fun that what is the point in living. this is why i try to have fun and laugh as much as possible. from this laughter has earned my a nick name.(gerbil) i like this nick name because it came from friends that i know arent doing it to be mean but are doing it out of love. although i havent met these people that have given me this nick name i still know that they aremy true friends.
Without friends in this life a person has nothing. ts is why i surround myself with good friends that love me through the good times and the bad. i like the feeling that i can be a total dork and they still will lovemeno matter what or if i need to vent to oneof them they will sit there and listen.
i recently decided to leave my current college and persue a different career path. i am planningon getting a job and working this summer and going to college again in the fall once i fgure out what i want to do with the rest of mylife. tthis has been a long hard decision but i believe its for the best. i think i rushed into college to fast before i was ready. now i haveto start allover and begin a new. i am moving home and going to live with my parents for awhile. as much as i like living on my own i still like to comehomeoncein awhile. this seems like the best choice at this time in mylife.
so yeah that wasmy first blog and i hope whoever reads this likes it cuz i put my heart and soul into it.
"TRUE FRIEND"
[VERSE 1]
We sign our cards and letters BFF
You've got a million ways to make me laugh
You're lookin' out for me; you've got my back
It's so good to have you around
You know the secrets I could never tell
And when I'm quiet you break through my shell
Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell
Cause you keep my feet on the ground
[CHORUS 1]
You're a true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me asideWhen something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night'
Til it's alright again
You're a true friend
[VERSE 2]
You don't get angry when I change the plans
Somehow you're never out of second chances
Won't say "I told you" when I'm wrong again
I'm so lucky that I've found
[CHORUS 2]
A true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me asideWhen something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
'Til it's alright again
[BRIDGE]
True friends will go to the ends of the earth
Till they find the thing you need
Friends hang on through the ups and the downs
Cause they've got someone to believe in
[CHORUS 3]
A true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me asideWhen something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
No need to pretend
You're a true friend
You're here till the end
Pull me asideWhen something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night'
Til it's alright again
You're a true friend [3x]
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