new things are happening

ok its been a long time since ive written a blog so here goes...

this is whats new with me. recently my longest relationship of about 9 months ended. honestly im still not over it and its weird when i talk to him. it will take some time to get over after being so completely in love with a person for that long. im enjoying my summer vacation from school. im going back in the fall. i passed almost all my classes. i even got an A in math. with surprised the heck out of me.
im still learning how to drive which is taking alot longer than i had hoped but my life has been so busy that there isnt much time to practice. this also goes along with my plans to move out of my parents house. that now i find out is going to take alot longer than i would like it to.
i also started going to see a pyshcologist lately. her name is andrea. she is helping me deal with some depression issues ive been dealing with for many years now. i go to see her once a weeka dn we talk about things that are bothering me or that im anxious about or goals i wanna accomplish and how to go about doing it. she does this so i dont get ovewhelmed and can manage it with out overthinking it and shutting down back into a depression situation.
its nice having someone to talk to and can trust. im really glad i could talk about my problems with someone that isnt part of the issue and doesnt know or have connections with the issue in any way. its always better to talk to a third party when u have no where else to turn.
my friends still mean the world to me. which brings up a very important topic. this is that i made a new friend lately. justina is truely becoming one of the best friends in my entire life. i have learned so much from her. she has taught me acceptance and patience and over all how to be a better women. she has also brought me alot closer to god. this i am truely thankful for. justina has touched my life in many ways. probabally in more ways than she will ever know. she has so much courage and faith that has no bounds, wisdom and intelligence beyond her years. im glad god brought her to me because i feel at this time in my life i need a friend like her.
someone that doesnt judge me or tell me that im wrong for doing something. someone that says they will be there and actually shows up when im in need. someone i know i can come to with my deepest problems and thoughts and that will listen and try to guide me in the right path. i can say that i love her and hope we can be friends for the rest of our lives. <3
as u can see alot has changed in my life and i hope to write more over the summer as i have more time to do so now. ttyl
<3 kaylee


lean on me

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

reconnecting

so i made a realization today that i dont speak to hardly any of my friends from past years anymore. at least not on a regular basis. its not that i dont liek them anymore its just that ive lost connections with them and have drifted apart from them. i have kept a small group of close friends around but most i have lost touch with. kinda makes me re- evaluate things. were they really important? because if they were they would have made it here to the present. most of them were left in my past and that must be where they were meant to stay. im content with the life i live right now and i have people in my life that truely care about me and would do anything for me if i needed them. i am grateful to them for that.
but not all the people i lost touch with have been forgotten or lost forever. i have recently reconnected with a few old friends. all of them ironically through facebook. in the past month alone i have found about five of my friends that i thought i would never speak to again. its nice to know that they havent forgotten about me all this time. some of them i havent seen in up to ten years. true friends i have come to find out will find a way to stay in your life. some will not be in ur life constantly but when it really matters they will be there.
so if you are one of the friends that i talk to still. thank you for being there for me when i needed you and know that i love you all for that. i hope we will always be great friends till we are old and grey in the nursing homes racing down the halls in our wheelchairs. again i say thank you and i love you all!
<3 kaylee

TRUE FRIEND-Miley Cyrus

We sent our cards
And letters BFF
You've got
A million ways
To make me laugh
You're looking out
For me
You've got my back
So good
To have you around
You know the secrets
I could never tell
And when I'm quiet you
Break through my shell
Don't feel the need
To do a rebel yell
Cuz you keep my feet
On the ground

You're a true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside
When somethin' ain't right
Talk with me now
And into the night
Till it's alright again
You're a true friend

You don't get angry
When I change the plans
Somehow you're never out
Of second chances
Won't say "I told you"
When I'm wrong again
I'm so lucky
That I found

A true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside
When somethin' ain't right
Talk with me now
And into the night
Till it's alright again

True friends will go
To the end of the earth
Till they find
The things you need
Friends hang on
To the ups and the downs
Cuz they got someone
To believe in

You're a true friend
You're here 'til the end
You pull me aside me aside
When somethin' ain't right
Talk with me now
And into the night,
No need to pretend
You're a true friend
You're here 'til the end
You pull me aside
When somethin' ain't right
Talk with me now
And into the night
'Til it's alright again
You're a true friend

You're a true friend
You're a true friend

god only knows....

i was inspired to write this blog when i heard this song.......

GOD ONLY KNOWS

I feel so alone, Cant seem to find my out of this lone?
No, it dont seem right
I didnt have a chance to say goodbye.

In this this silent space, I close my eyes i can hear you say
That it's alright, but my world's such an empty place tonight.
Cause i know that, its all part of life.

[Chorus]
I wish i had the chance to say goodbye, yeah i still miss you.
so hard to see through the tears i've cried.
Yeah, i still need you.
Cause i dont want to, if i dont have to ever let you go.
The longest i'll hold on.. God only knows.

As the time goes by, it gets a little easier to smile.
I know i'll never forget everything that you said.
You said its alright, it's all part of life.

[Chorus]
I wish i had the chance to say goodbye, yeah i still miss you.
so hard to see through the tears i've cried.
Yeah, I still need you.
Cause i don't want to, if i don't have to ever let you go.
The longest i'll hold on.. God only knows.

{ The hard times} will never fade if you keep looking up
Right around there is a better place if you believe in love.
Cause i know that, its all part of life.

[Chorus]
I wish i had the chance to say goodbye, yeah i still miss you.
so hard to see through the tears i've cried.
Yeah, I still need you.
Cause i don't want to, if i don't have to ever let you go.
The longest i'll hold on, the longest i'll hold on.
The longest i'll hold on.. God only knows.
God only knows.
Ya, God only knows.
God only knows.

I got to thinking after listening to this song how i have been to way too many funerals lately. 7 so far and one on the way in a year and a half. that is 8 too many. two of them were not needed. they were suicides. i feel for everyone that has lost someone this way. it is an indescribable pain for the people left behind. we cant imagine how much pain that the person was in emotionally or physically. obviously they felt they couldnt get through whatever it was.

with this said this is especially hard because u have no warning therefor no goodbye.

it really sucks when u cant say goodbye to someone u cared about before they have passed away. no matter how they died when u cant say goodbye it is much harder to get past the greif.

this song touched me in so many ways. its lyrics say so much that so many people feel and cant put into words. listening to this song i feel can be theraputic to someone who has lost someone.

i hope this song touches many people the way it has touched me. thanks to lucks for sending me that song. i think its becoming one of my favorites at this time.
<3 kaylee

ugh need to clear my head

i have decided my head is going to explode this week. i have alot on my mind and im starting to stress out way too much over what some people may think are stupid things. maybe im just sensitive or something idk. but im getting upset over the littlest things lately. things that never used to bother me are things that now put me in tears. wtf?
today was no different. i talked to a few friends about what was going on and they were there for me but still i feel hurt. i honestly dont feel the person who hurt me did it intentionally or eveen knew he/ she did it. it just sucked. im not going to name names or put blame on anyone. im just writing this to get it out of my mind and felt this what the only way to do it. im just not having a very good day is all. well thats about it. ttyl
<3 kaylee

update cuz its been awhile

ok so to update all u guys on what ive been up to lately cuz i havent posted anything in a super long time.
-im back in college
-im going to be learning how to drive my van i hope soon
-im still living at home for the time being although i want that to change
-i cant seem to get a certain someone out of my mind no matter what i do
-im apparently good at putting holes in walls and running into things
-still good at falling out of my chair
-my chair needs fixing
-my computer is a piece of crap
-long weekends are boring still even when i have things to do cuz its a holiday weekend and dont want to do anything
-i still want red highlights and still considering getting a tattoo- dont know when thats gonna actually happen though- probly after i move out
-my pastors wife finally had her baby
-my sister doesnt live at home anymore
-i should really post more blogs than i do
............................... thats about it so incase u missed what ive been up to here ya go!
<3 kaylee


THEN- BRAD PAISLEY

I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you. You had me mesmerized.
And three weeks later in the front porch light, taking forty five minutes to kiss goodnight.
I hadn't told you yet, but I thought I loved you then.

Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe, the way I feel about you girl.
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day.
And I thought I loved you then.

I remember, taking you back to right where I first met you. You were so surprised.
There people around but I didn't care. I got down on one knee right there.
And once again, I thought I loved you then.

Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe, the way I feel about you girl.
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day.
And I thought I loved you then.

I can just see you, with a baby on the way. I can just see you, when your hair is turning grey.
What I can't see is how I'm ever going to love you more. But I've said that before.

Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. And I just can't believe the way I feel about you girl.
We'll look back someday, at this moment that we're in and I'll look at you and say, "And I thought I loved you then."
And I thought I loved you then.

another random quote blog post

another random quote blog cuz im bored and felt like blogging again lol

1.Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
Jonathan Winters

2.Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Annonymous

3.I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

RIP Kelly

tonight has been a really rough night. i was washing dishes and my dad calls everyone to the living room. already i knew this was not going to be a good thing or any fun. my dog has been really sick lately and she isnt going to get any better and shes real old and has huge tumor. so friday morning my dad is going to the vets and we have to put her down. this is especially sad because we have grown very attached to this dog. we have had her for 10 years now. she is twelve yrs old and its just her time. i will not be going because when we had our first dog put down it was hard for me to be in the room and this dog is much harder to watch in pain. so this time i am sitting it out. i want to not have that as my last image of her. i thinks thats about all im gonna write tonight.
<3 kaylee

sissy's song- alan jackson

Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me